Monday, May 23, 2016

Finding Peace.

Another Mother's Day...another negative pregnancy test...but I didn't breakdown! As luck would have it, Sunday morning during worship, I sat next to a woman who had lost a child, a teenager, several years ago. She shared with me later this was the first year for her to attend worship on Mother's Day. Sadly, she became very emotional and wasn't able to stay. It got me thinking again about grief and how tricky it can be. She acknowledged the next day that nothing specific happened to set it off...at some point, it was just too much. I totally get it. Our grief is on different levels, but similar paths.
This morning, I was so completely convinced I was pregnant. I was seven days late with no sign of spotting, cramping, or sugar/salt cravings...very unusual, even for me!
But...like I said, negative. Even as I was waiting those LONG three minutes, I was excited to know, but not anxious...at all...For the first time EVER, I was totally ok with whatever the answer would be.  I was so grateful! Feeling the beautiful fruit of the Spirit for which I had been praying for so long...God granted me His Peace! I know grief will visit again, but that's ok.  My God is big enough to handle whatever I am willing to give Him...and then use it for some good. We serve a mighty God.