Poem and the 'old friend'.

"Burial"
Today I closed the door of the nursery
I have kept for you in my heart.
I can no longer stand in its doorway.
I have waited for you there so long.
I cannot forever live on the periphery
Of the dream world we share, and you
Cannot enter my world.
I have fought to bring you across the
Threshold of conception and birth.
I have fought time, doctors, Devils, and
God Almighty.
I am weary and there is no victory.
Other children may someday live in my
Heart but never in your place.
I can never hold you. I can never really
Let you go. But I must go on.
The unborn are forever trapped within the
Living but it is unseemly for the
living to be trapped forever by the
Unborn.
E. Van Clef

Taken from: "Children of Open Adoption" by: Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner

So, so beautiful! Just had to share it!
This is another part of our 'required reading'. I loved this...she describes grief as an 'old friend'. I thought on that for a while...imagine your home, busy, messy, crazy...then, the doorbell rings and someone you haven't seen in 15+ years is on the step. For the sake of the analogy, let's say you're not immediately thrilled to see them, but instead start thinking about all the ways this is NOT the right time for visitors. However, you're a gracious host, so you invite them in, clear off the couch, maybe make up the spare bed, allow them in your world for a short time, but then (hopefully) they leave. The thing about old friends is that they may not be who you would necessarily 'choose' to be with at that moment, but they are familiar...an updated version of the same old stories...you probably know what they're going to say before they say it, but you still listen...you allow time for that conversation. But what happens if that old friend decides to take up permanent residence? Anger, resentment, frustration, bitterness? So it is with grief...it can pop up unexpectedly, but if allowed a little bit of space and patience, it will move on. I think this is a nice reminder for everyone to give ourselves a break! Have as much patience with your own heart as you do with others'.