Before the formal application can be submitted, each couple must attend a two-day orientation. The first day is filled with hearing from each staff member about their job and how it ties into the overall vision of Christian Homes: a Christian Home for every child. The staff walked us through the adoption process step-by-step and shared their anecdotes. They included the good, the funny, the ironic, and the devastating scenarios they have witnessed over the years.
A couple things that I did not know: rights relinquished to an agency is an irrevocable agreement! Contrary to relinquishing rights to a private attorney. This really put my mind at ease knowing there would be a time when we could 'breath easy' again without fear of being separated from our child. Also, the parameters of an open adoption are negotiable. The birthmother may not want contact at all, but typically will ask for at least photos and updates for the first couple of years. However, post-adoption agreements are not legally binding (at least in Texas). The staff did make a side note to mention since they do assure the birthmothers that they will be providing the children with CHRISTIAN parents, it is very important to uphold those agreements as much as possible. I had no idea there were so many varying factors!
So, this is the basic plan: Ideally, we will be selected by the birthmother a few months before the birth in order to build a relationship with her. Then, we arrive for the birth. Depending on our relationship with her, we may be able to be with her and witness the birth, we may be waiting in a room in the hospital, or we may be waiting in a hotel room in town. She is required to wait 48 hours before being presented the option to relinquish her rights. This does not mean she has to sign; one scenario described was a cesarean birth. The birthmother wanted her baby there in the hospital while she was there recuperating; FOUR long days for the adoptive parents to wait. So, assuming she signs, we are free to take our baby home upon his/her discharge. During the next six months, the agency is the conservator of the child. Then, at four months we are eligible to apply for the finalization of our adoption. This can not happen before the baby is six months old. At this hearing, it is technically a lawsuit between us and the agency (a very nice lawsuit where we're all on the same side) :) At this point, we receive an amended birth certificate. We will be able to change the name of our child if we wish and we will be named as the parents of the child!
Let me back up a bit and talk about the biological father. There is again many contributing factors, but the readers' digest version is this: if they have not waived their right upon the birth, they have 30-42 days to contest the placement and adoption. So, even if the mother has signed and the baby is placed with us, that is just the first 'hurdle'. Approximately a month after the birth, there is a termination of rights hearing. This is the second hurdle. The staff of course had the devastating stories and words of caution, but at the end of the day, they say it's fairly uncommon. I would have preferred them use the word 'rare', but they didn't.
The first day was mentally exhausting, but on the whole extremely encouraging!
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